There’s electricity in the air these days. I can feel it. But I want to touch it. I want to feel it running through my veins. It’s reckless, I know, but I can feel the edge of it (it tingles and it burns) but it’s not enough. Not nearly enough.
You know how it is… when you want something that bad, and it seems like it’s almost in reach, but its right beyond your fingertips when you try to grab it. (I can brush it with my fingers, but I can’t actually touch it.) I can feel it, but I can’t touch it. I can breathe it, but I can’t actually “feel it” feel it.
If I touch it… maybe, just maybe, it’ll bring me to life. Maybe it’ll get me moving… but it’s a gamble. It could kill me. It could break me… but that’s what I want. I want to break, and I want to shake. I want things to move.
Right now, I’d take the gamble. I’d risk it all. (I’d put all my cards on the table.) Right now, I’m here. Right now, I’m ready. I’m waiting for the world to move… but that’s right now. I don’t know how long “right now” is going to last.
When this “now” becomes the past, and “now” becomes the present, I can’t guarantee that I’m going to feel the same. (I hope I will, but you never know.) So, if this is going to happen, it’s got to happen now. This moment. This second. This breath.
I’ve watched so many chances slip though my hands (“… I almost lost myself. when I looked around there was no one else…”) and I don’t want this one to. I don’t want to wait too long, because I always seem to miss my chance by a mere second. I don’t want to miss my chance. Not this time.
You never know if you’re going to get a second chance at the same thing. But that’s the beauty of it, I guess. You never know if you’re going to get what you want. You never know if you’re going to get what you need. (because what we want and what we need are usually two very, very different things.)
We don’t always want what we need (because it hurts, it’s hard, it’s too much, not enough). We don’t always need what we want (it’s dangerous, it’s harmful, it’s useless, or pointless). It’s a very rare thing when what we want and what we need are the same thing.
(one question: do we have what we need?)
My answer; I doubt we’ll ever really know until it’s too late. We’ll find out after the moment when we need what we have (or don’t have) is already upon us.
(the air is starting to calm down. it’s not a live current anymore… but I still feel traces of electricity lingering in the air.)
~ Cassandra ~
(Electricity (n) - 1 a: a
fundamental form of energy observable in positive and negative forms
that occurs naturally (as in lightning) or is produced (as in a
generator) and that is expressed in terms of the movement and
interaction of electrons b: electric current or power. 2: a science that deals with the phenomena and laws of electricity. 3: keen contagious excitement <could feel the electricity in the room>)
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